A Love Letter to All the Overwhelmed White People Who Are Trying

from That White Lady Who Shared the Starbucks Video

You may not know my name, but you probably heard about what I did.

In 2018, when my video of two Black men unjustly arrested in a Philadelphia Starbucks went viral, I was thrust into an international conversation about race, and as a middle-aged white lady, I was overwhelmed, confused and ashamed, to say the least. That’s probably how you’re feeling right about now, minus the onslaught of media in your life.

That day in Starbucks, I didn’t just see Donte and Rashon as Black, but I saw myself as white. And truthfully, not just saw, but felt. I felt my whiteness. And that was a revelation to me as it may be to you at this moment. But in the days, weeks, months and years since Starbucks, I have come to firmly believe one crucial concept. For however many years you have been on this earth, like me you likely have not considered your race as an essential part of your identity.

Of course I knew I was white, just like you do. I just didn’t consciously identify myself that way. Maybe it’s because it felt like it was unnecessary to acknowledge, or because it felt like the default, or because it felt embarrassing for reasons I could not yet articulate. But before that day, “white” was in the silent backdrop of how I defined myself, and then, the day I went viral, something shifted. I suddenly saw my own race as important, as having meaning, meaning…